Jetloops International Ver.

カテゴリ:Music( 3 )

2004年 08月 26日

NIRVANA part.3

To Boddah pronounced.

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile camplainee. This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years. Since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the exitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things. For example when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins it doesn't affect the way in which it did for Freddy Mercury who seemed to love and relish in the love and adoration from the crowd. Which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is I can't fool you. Any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to put people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100 % fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it, and I do. God, believe me I do but it's not enough.


I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child. On our last three tours I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much. So much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, pisces Jesus man! Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know. I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be.

Full of love and joy kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable self-destructive, death rocker that I've become. I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along, and have empathy. Empathy! Only because I love and feel for people too much I guess. Thank you all from the pit of my burning nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore and so remember, its better to burn out than to fade away. Peace, love, empathy. Kurt Cobain.

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.

Please keep going Courtney.

For Frances,

For her life which will be so much happier without me. I Love you. I love you!

by junyasilas | 2004-08-26 23:48 | Music
2004年 08月 06日

NIRVANA part.2

Nirvanaは私の奥底で死んではいなかった。Kurt のカートの音楽遺産相続権を巡る裁判がようやく解決し、新曲がベスト盤の1トラックとしてリリースされた。それと同時に、過去に注いだ情熱が眠りから覚め、火力を上げ始めたのだ。もちろん発売当初は1日中聞いていたし、過去リリースされたCDを掘り起こしては聞いて、それが懐かしくもあった。




もしかしたら、 Kurt はこれらのどこかに正解を残してくれているのかもしれない…。



Thanks Kurt, thanks Nirvana. Bleach your works!!

by junyasilas | 2004-08-06 02:41 | Music
2004年 08月 05日

NIRVANA part.1

私は Nirvana を中学時代から聞き続けている。

騒々しく怒れたギター音と、それに負けない程狂乱(mad)で発狂した声…声の主は Kurt Cobain(カート・コバーン)という男だった。

幼少から The Beatles や Billy Joel などの音楽(つまり父親のよく聞いていた洋楽)を生活の一片として聞いてきたからか、彼らの音楽は未知なる音であったし、それと同時に、気づかぬ間もなく瞬く間にアゴにドギツイ一撃を喰らった感覚が…、そしてそれが波状し全身を包んだ。
自分で歌詞を強引に訳したりもした。作詞はほとんど Kurt の仕事であり、私は彼の意識に近づきたくてそんな行動に出たが、時には言葉が多すぎて彼の世界は複雑化し、時には言葉が足りなくて彼の世界は真っ白で、到底彼の美観には追いつけなかった。



ここ3,4年前まで、私は Nirvana から距離を置いていた。理解しようと彼に近づきたい自分と、彼はもういないと自覚し正解はもう解からないと知っている自分との狭間にある矛盾が、耐えられなかった…のだろう。


by junyasilas | 2004-08-05 02:59 | Music